There’s no news that’s new these days. So, I give you a new edition of old news: The Clintons have gone completely bonkers.

Yesterday was swamped with stories of Bill and Hillary claiming to be the victims of a vast conspiracy involving the media - a “cover-up,” as Bill put it. What’s being covered up? To hear them tell it, Hillary’s awesome success with the electorate is. The evidence of this success? Polls and analysis! From where? Not the media!

In fact, these polls and analyses don’t exist. Why? The cover-up! And so, the sole source for these polls and analyses would be the Clintons themselves.

This Wonderland argument was capped by Hillary’s announcement that not only is she leading in metrics, she is leading in all of them:

“…based on every analysis, of every bit of research and every poll that has been taken and every state that a Democrat has to win, I am the stronger candidate against John McCain in the fall,” she said.

The shocking fact is that nowhere near “every” analysis favors Clinton. Most, in fact, according to Real Clear Politics, favor Obama. And this is not shocking because it means Clinton is lying.

It is shocking because there is no sane answer to why they should lie. They have either lost their sanity - a possibility, but unlikely - or their senses. In the latter case, here’s why:

This contest is over. In a week’s time, Obama will have secured that “magic number” of delegates. This leaves Clinton with a choice - bow out gracefully and hope you can mend fences with the nominee and the party behind him that rightfully calls for your apologies, or fight on to the convention.

If Clinton remains in the race and brings suit against the DNC to force them to take the Florida and Michigan delegates, the bridges she is burning now will blow fire all over the Party. Her Senate seat will be as good as sunk. If she simply clutches her long-shot hope of Obama hitting a landmine or a lone gunman between now and Denver, she will only earn acrimony.

One way or the other, the solution is to try and extinguish those bridges she set afire with everything from Muslim Manchurian candidate lies to attacks on patriotism to charges of Obama putting the nation at risk. Instead, she and Bill are setting dynamite on the burning bridge:

How? They’re lying to their supporters. They’re making it look like Obama - however inevitable - is being lied into his position of prominence and that they, the Clintons, are the lone and noble truthtellers. They have a week of political life left in this primary, and they’re expending it by making their own (former) allies look like traitors, liars, fools.

If the Democratic Party has any sense of self-preservation, they should do more than cut the Clintons’ mike, in money and political machine support, come June 3. They should do more than just counter or laugh off every comment Billary blathers out.

They should stop beating that dead Jabberwocky, and bury the Clintons’ madness where it can no longer soil the already muddled political scene.