Happy Holidays - I’ve returned after my long hiatus of backbreaking labor, moving and general disaffection with the world at large. And I should note that the world didn’t help me with any of those concerns this sluggish, cyclical November. The news was as drab and empty as my new apartment. But lo, a new month has begun, and with it, some signs that things worth writing about are happening to occupy the increasingly ample writing time of my days.

So here we have it, loyal readers - A “How De Do” list of headlines that keep me warm at night during those cold Southern California nights:

First and foremost, there’s now a Web site devoted to holding Hilary accountable for her feeble jabs at fellow Democrats. Barack Obama is graciously hosting it, as he’s the one most of the lunges are aimed at. This record of ripostes has among its entries her griping about Iran, gay rights and, of course, the all-time classic accusation that Obama was calculating his Presidential bid as a cold-blooded kindergartener.

You know Christmas is coming when you get the gift of fruit cake, I tell you.

Yes, the news media seems to have become serious about shoving Hilary in front of its bus’ newscycles. After extolling her bravery and acumen for emotional manipulation lost its luster with the press-purchasing public, they actually began commenting on the inaccuracies, grim implications and general blandness of her statements as a candidate. Then came the record of coercion of the press, ruthless control of her records and surprisingly sloppy oversight of her donors. Next thing you know, the blood is in the water.

It is surely too late to pop the champagne. A lot of people want Hillary to win, and the media has yet to decide what story it wants to tell - the one where the charismatic Kennedy-come-lately Obama rises above the establishment wreck of the Clinton campaign while the media sings “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead”, or the one where the media-money darling, Hillary takes her rivals’ best shots and still wins out because despite an abyssmal voting record, she’s got moxie and knows how to win hearts. Yet I reserve the right to have some glimmer of hope for the political process, and right now, that hope is leading in Iowa.

And speaking of Hope, Mike Huckabee is also leading in Iowa, suggesting this race may get a /whole/ lot more interesting than I could’ve expected. Nothing will chase the mid-election season clouds away like a bass-playing wiseacre with Nanny State politics and fundamentalist beliefs!

And, speaking of the apocalypse…

Our second joyful holiday news item is that someone finally wrenched the mike away from the White House long enough to give it to the CIA and US intelligence community. For months, we’ve been drinking a witches’ brew of paranoia and dark portent from our ever-vigilant Commander-in-Chief about Iran’s nuclear program, as all the while the fine print on the articles noted that his intelligence personnel were telling him to settle down. At last, the National Intelligence Estimate rolled off the presses and stated definitively that Iran is /not/ an immediate threat, and that all indications are that it’s been largely on the up-and-up about the civilian application of its program.

“…in a finding likely to surprise U.S. friends and foes alike, the latest NIE concluded: “We do not know whether (Iran) currently intends to develop nuclear weapons.”

That marked a sharp contrast to an intelligence report two years ago that stated Iran was “determined to develop nuclear weapons.”

That having been said, Iran is still proceeding to acquire and implement nuclear technology, and whether those technologies have immediate military applications or not, they are still steps along the path to nuclear armament. The question then becomes whether they’re illegal or not, and whether Iran has any real incentive to use them to threaten the US. At least, for now, the mushroom cloud has been crammed back into the smoking gun, the bogeyman back into the closet, and Dick Cheney’s opinions back into the padded cell and out of the public square.

If anything, this report indicates that sanctions do indeed work. The NIE, after all, switched dramatically over the time period of the internationally-backed sanctions we initiated. All indications are that we did something good, and it worked.

And as a fringe benefit, it seems only Bush and conservatives in Israel - the two parties in the globe that need as much ammunition against Iran as they can get - remain convinced that Iran is going full throttle for a nuclear nightmare. One hopes this will further damage the credibility of the Israeli intelligence services. Then, maybe, our media will start listening to the Knessetand Haaretz, rather than whatever reactionary, uniformed flavor of the month the conservative Israeli Defense Force stands behind a microphone in order to justify our unconditional support and billions of military aid for his country.

And, finally, the Teddy Bear Terror is over.

Yes, the latest installment of the increasingly assinine and alarming outrages in the Muslim world has run its course. The British teacher who thought it would be kosher for a kid to name his stuffed bear after himself - Mohammed - only to find it led to roaring throngs demanding her death by beheading is home safe.

After a reunion with her children John and Jessica at Heathrow, the 54-year-old teacher spoke of her shock and terror after being arrested and accused of insulting Islam for allowing her pupils to call a teddy bear Mohammed.

But despite her ordeal, Mrs Gibbons praised the people of Sudan, stressing that no one should be put off working there.

She even pointed out there was a vacancy for a teacher in her old job.

“I am very sorry to leave,” she said.

And yet I, Mrs. Gibbons, am rapidly running out of patience with Sudan. Darfur is bad enough. But legal action that makes the reaction over the Danish cartoons of the prophet look rational, even right, by comparison? It may be a straw compared to hundreds of thousands dead and raped by government-backed Islamic militias, but it could be a final straw all the same.

But in the spirit of the holidays, it seems like everyone - from the government in Khartoum, to the western press, to kindly Mrs. Gibbons and innocent little Mohammed - are letting this one blow over. So it will be back to business: Our slowly trudging towards a modicum of security for the agonized millions in Sudan while China grips the whole region like a pearl in its dragon claws.

Xin Nian Kuai Le, everybody! It’s good to be back!